My Recent Absence…

(and a little immortalisation…)

Hi everyone,

This post is going to be a little different to my usual. I thought I would come on here and explain why I haven’t posted anything since the 23rd of September.

A couple of days after my last post, we noticed our cat, Oliver, was drooling excessively, which was quite unusual for him. Concerned about his well-being, we assumed it was an issue with his teeth, so we promptly booked him in at the vets for a thorough check-up and hoped for a quick resolution to get our boy back to his usual self.

On the 24th of September, we took Oliver in for his appointment. During the consultation, the vet carefully examined Oliver and noticed that he had a concerning mass under his tongue, which immediately raised alarm bells for us. She recommended a biopsy to check what it was; this procedure would allow us to understand if it was benign or something more serious. After discussing the potential outcomes, we felt relieved to have a plan in place, though the waiting period was daunting. Oliver’s biopsy was scheduled for the 1st of October, and as that date approached, we could only think about how he would handle the procedure and whether we would receive good news afterward.

After the biopsy, Oliver continued to deteriorate, but at this stage, he was still eating and drinking, so we were trying not to be too concerned. However, a week and a half ago, we noticed that Oliver hadn’t eaten his food, and was really struggling to drink. This change in his behavior raised our alarms; it was clear that he was not just refusing food but appeared increasingly lethargic and disoriented. We started to observe more closely as his usual enthusiasm for mealtime diminished.

We stayed in contact with the vet as we were still awaiting the results of his biopsy. At this stage, I was becoming a little frustrated as we were told the results should be back within 5 to 10 days, and each passing day felt like an eternity. It was challenging to remain patient while constantly wondering what the findings would reveal about his health. The lack of information was stressful, and every call from the vet’s office brought a mix of hope and anxiety, as I desperately sought reassurance that everything would be alright for my boy.

20 days after Oliver’s biopsy, we were finally told that his results were back. As we sat in the examination room, trying to keep our emotions in check, the vet delivered the heartbreaking verdict: he had an aggressive tumor called a carcinoma. This diagnosis was devastating, particularly because we learned that it was located in a position that made it impossible to operate on. The grim options presented to us were to remove his entire tongue or his jaw, both of which would result in a life that was not only painful but also devoid of the joy and comfort he had always known. We grappled with the reality of those choices, recognising that neither path offered any semblance of a good quality of life for our beloved boy. It was painfully clear to us that it would be incredibly unfair to put him through such suffering, a thought that shattered our hearts and left us feeling completely helpless in the face of such dire circumstances.

We had to make a decision we never wanted to make, but one that we knew was the best for our boy. On the 20th of September, we had to say goodbye to our boy, a heart-wrenching moment that filled us with an overwhelming sense of sorrow. We stayed by his side throughout, holding him gently and whispering words of love and comfort. I think he knew what was happening in some way, because he was so lovable and sweet when we were given time to say goodbye, nuzzling into our hands and looking up at us with so much love in his eyes. He was such a good boy while the vet completed the euthanasia. He continued purring until he was gone, that soft vibration a constant reminder of the warmth he brought into our lives. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the feeling of his purring stopping as he passed, a moment that marked the end of an era for us. The quiet that followed was deafening, yet I am glad that I stayed by his side throughout, cherishing every second we had together in those difficult yet beautiful final moments.

He gave us 8 amazing years of love and happiness that we will always treasure dearly. During that time, he also gifted us our other 2 remaining beautiful cats, Lola and Luna—his unexpected encounter with the neighbors’ 2 female cats happened just before we could get him neutered, which led to this wonderful surprise. Knowing that we still have Lola and Luna, who carry a little bit of Oliver’s spirit and charm, is a massive comfort that eases our aching hearts in his absence. Their playful antics and quirky habits remind us of the joy Oliver brought into our lives. Each of them exhibits some elements of Oliver’s unique personality that we will continue to cherish, making each day a bittersweet reminder of the love he shared with us and the legacy he left behind through these two beautiful souls.

Life really did hit me with a massive curveball, and I’m currently trying to prioritise each of my ARC books, so I don’t let any of the authors down that I have promised reviews for. It’s been a challenging period for me, as I navigate through the emotional turmoil that comes with loss while also balancing my commitments to the literary community, and my job. I will still read and review them; however, I am massively behind schedule, as October was spent looking after, and then subsequently losing my beloved Oliver, who brought so much joy and comfort into my life. The experience has been incredibly difficult, and I find myself needing a bit more time to process everything. I sincerely hope that the authors will be understanding and accept the reviews a little later than previously expected, as I truly value their work and want to give each book the thoughtful consideration it deserves.

Just some of the photos we have taken throughout Oliver’s life 🧡